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Wed, Aug. 1st, 2007, 03:05 pm

I had my biopsy today. I'm so sore, but I have extra strength Vicodin, so it could be worse. I have my follow up appointment next Wednesday and I guess from there we'll decide what to do. My surgeon said that he might even be able to get the wisdom teeth out at the same time, which would be awesome. I'm just so grateful that I have Chris here to take care of me. I'm going to miss him so much when he goes off to enlist in the Coast Guard. For one, it'll be awkward sleeping alone. Time to zone out with the Vicodin.

Thu, Jul. 26th, 2007, 01:37 pm

I have an appointment on Monday, and from there I should be able to schedule my surgery.

Wed, Jul. 25th, 2007, 07:48 am
Things just keep getting worse

Bullshit ensued before my fucking appointment yesterday. At around 10, the surgeon's office called to notify me that I need a referral from my primary care physician. First of all, I found out they didn't notify me sooner because they found out yesterday morning that I have an HMO. I don't understand why they couldn't have checked it out sooner rather than the day of my fucking appointment. I spent most of the morning and afternoon calling my doctor's office to see if they would/were sending the referral. Finally, about 3 minutes before we were supposed to leave for New Braunfels the doctor's office called and said that they had just faxed the referral. I drove to my appointment, hoping that they would take this cyst out of my jaw. When I get called back they took an x-ray and when the surgeon came in he said that he wouldn't be able to do anything because it's gotten too big. I need to have major surgery. He made some calls but couldn't find anyone that takes my insurance. He gave me the number to the UT Health Science Center in San Antonio to see if they take my insurance. If they can't then I may need to go to Dallas to have this removed. What's really scary is I really can't wait much longer because it's growing so rapidly. It's eating away the inside my jaw and has taken on a life of its own.

I'm pretty fucking scared and I just wish I could find someone to cut this fucking thing out of me.

Thu, Jul. 19th, 2007, 10:57 am

This week has been pretty crappy. I went to an Oral Surgeon last week for my wisdom teeth consultation, the doctor saw a lesion on my jaw on the x-ray and wanted me to get a CT scan to check it out. I had my CT scan on Tuesday and the doctor called me yesterday to tell me that it is a cyst and it's getting bigger. They don't take my medical insurance, so I had to find a place that does so I don't have to pay for the biopsy out of pocket. The nearest place that takes my insurance is in New Braunfels. I have an appointment next Tuesday and I might have it taken out. I'm pretty scared because I have no idea what to expect.

Then this morning my grandmother (my dad's mom) died.

I wish Chris would come back home.

Wed, Jul. 11th, 2007, 10:25 am

There's been a change in plans. We've decided against having a wedding ceremony and we're just going to go to the courthouse and get married there. We're doing it very soon too, probably at the end of the month or beginning of next month. My parents are trying to talk me out of it but he's planning to enlist in the Coast Guard sooner than he had planned and he would rather us be married before he does it. We do want to have a reception type thing for our friends and family to attend, we're just not sure when that will happen.

Sun, Jul. 8th, 2007, 12:07 pm
Wedding!

Chris and I have a date in mind for the wedding. We were thinking May 17, 2008; we just have to make sure that it's okay with his family. My mom's boss has assigned herself my wedding planner, which is fine by me. She's pretty organized and has a lot of good ideas. Since we don't want a church wedding, she suggested this spot at school. It has a fountain and bench swings and lots of flowers. It's a really nice spot and it'll be cheaper than renting a place. We plan to do the reception at a nearby hotel (same place I had my Sweet 16). I just hope that his family is alright with these plans.

Wed, Jun. 27th, 2007, 07:56 pm
RING

I got my ring today!!! BUT it was too big so I had to get it resized and I should get it back in 10 days. It's so pretty! It's a half carat princess cut diamond with a 14 karat white gold band.

Wed, Jun. 27th, 2007, 10:26 am
Engaged

So, I'm engaged now. It was official on Friday. We're going shopping for the ring tonight. I'm really excited!

Mon, May. 28th, 2007, 01:00 am

Chris and I got back together on Friday. He called me Friday morning wanting to talk when I got off work. I went over to where he's living and we drove around. We ended up at Town Lake and talked some more. He told me that he's done a lot of thinking and that he really can't see himself with anyone but me and that he wanted to give the relationship another shot. He also kept apologizing for hurting me the way he did and he said that he did love me all along. He said that the space made him realize that I was the girl for him. I told him that I'm going to have to gain his trust again. I ended up spending the weekend with him and things are better than ever. He tells me that he's glad that we're back together again. He also tells me that he wil I am so happy that we're back together.

Fri, May. 18th, 2007, 08:28 pm

I've sunk so low into a depression and I can't seem to pull myself out of it. I've eaten one actual meal this week and snacked some. Most of the time food is repulsive to me, and as a result I feel myself getting weaker and feeling sick to my stomach. I've been so lonely and I've fallen into a nightly routine. I miss him so much it hurts.

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